All About Language!

Language is symbolic – The connection between words and ideas/things they represent is arbitrary 

• FIVE
• CINQ – “5” in French
• 00110101 – computer code for “5”

Semantic rules 

• Reflect the ways in which we assign meaning to words
  • “Bikes” are for riding and “books” are for reading
• Without semantic rules, each person would use words in unique ways with no shared meaning 

Equivocal Language

• Statements that have more than one commonly accepted definition

Relative Language

 

• • • Words gain their meaning by comparison

Ex. Fast and slow, long and short, large and small

Static Evaluation 

• • Statements that contain or imply the word “is” lead to mistaken assumptions that people are consistent and unchanging 
    • Instead of “Mark is a nervous guy,” say “Mark appears to be nervous when meeting new people.”

Understandings & Misunderstandings:

Abstract Language

• • • Vague in nature 

Ex. “You need to have a better attitude”

Behavioral Language

Specific to things people do or say

Ex. “You need to complain less every time we have to work late.”

Syntactic Rules

• • • Govern grammar
    • While we may not be able to describe them, we recognize when they are violated

Pragmatic Rules

• • Govern the way speech works in everyday interaction
    • Communication is a kind of “cooperative” game and success depends on all players following the same set of rules 
      • Coordination
    • Shared by most people in a culture 

Naming and Identity 

• • • Names are more important than a simple means of identification
    • Shape the way others think of us, the way we view ourselves and the way we act
    • Studies show that people with unusual names or spellings often suffer psychologically and emotionally 

Affiliation

• • • Speech can build and demonstrate solidarity with others 
    • We are attracted to those whose style of speaking is similar to ours

Convergence

• • • The process of adapting one’s speech style to match that of others 
      • Vocabulary, pauses, politeness, etc.

Divergence 

• • Speaking in a way that emphasizes one’s differences from others 

Powerless Language:

• Language patterns can add to or detract from a speaker’s power to influence others

Ex. Women tend to ask questions; men make statements 

• Powerless speech: less authoritative and socially attractive 
• Even in cultures that value assertiveness, language that is too powerful may intimidate 
• A mixture of powerful and polite speech is usually most effective 

Examples:

• Hedges = “I guess I’d like to…”
• Hesitations = “Uh, can I have a minute to…”
• Tag questions = “It’s time to go, isn’t it?”
• Disclaimers = “I’m not really sure, but…”

Disruptive Language:

• Three linguistic habits to avoid

1) Fact-Opinion Confusion

• “Paying that much for a pair of shoes is a waste of money.”
• “In my opinion, paying that much for a pair of shoes is a waste of money.”

2) Fact-Inference Confusion

• Problems can arise when we confuse factual statements with inferential statements or conclusions that we arrive at from our own interpretations

3) Emotive Language

• Seems to describe something but actually announces attitude toward it
• “Tactful” vs “Beating around the bush” 

“It” Statements:

• Avoid responsibility 
  • Ex. “It’s nice to see you” vs “I’m glad to see you”

“But” Statements:

• Cancels the thoughts preceding it
  • Ex. “You’re doing great work, but we have to let you go.”

“I” and “You” Language:

• “You” language is judgmental and can cause defensiveness 
• “I” language shows that the speaker takes responsibility by describing his/her reaction to someone’s behavior without making a judgment

“We” Language:

• Implies that “we are in this together”
• Can help to build a constructive climate  

Content 

• • Female friends spend more time discussing: 
    • Relationship problems, family, health
  • Male friends spend more time discussing:
    • Current events, music, sports, business, etc.
  • Differences can lead to relational frustration when men and women try to converse with one another 

Reasons for Communicating 

• • Men and women use language to build and maintain social relationships 
    • Men are more likely to engage in joking or teasing
    • Women’s discussions tend to involve feelings, relationships, and personal problems

Conversational Style

• • Myth – women are more talkative than men; no scientific evidence 
  • In mixed-sex conversations, men are more likely to use sentence fragments and women are more likely to use emotional references 
  • Men’s speech is more characteristically direct, succinct, task-oriented 
  • Women’s speech is typically indirect, supportive, and focused on relationships
  • Women are also inclined to ask more questions 

Non-Gender Variables

• • Ways in which women and men communicate are actually more similar than different
    • Male and female supervisors behave the same way and are equally effective
  • Gender roles influence language use 
    • Conversational styles of partners reflect power differences in the relationship more than the biological sex of communicators 

Verbal Communication Styles 

Language styles can vary across cultures:

• • • Low-context cultures 
      • Value using language to express thoughts/feelings; looking for meaning in the words 
    • High-context cultures
      • Value social harmony and discover meaning in non-verbal behaviors of speaker and in the context of which the message is delivered 
    • Elaborate or succinct 
      • Arabic vs English
    • Formality or informality
      • Korea vs North America

That’s all for now! I hope that you find this information helpful in using language in your life through both written and verbal contexts! 🙂

~Devin