By: Raysa Kelly

If you could describe your relationship with you sibling in 5 words, how would you describe it? If I am talking about my brother I would say “He is annoying, but loved,” but, if I am talking about my sister I would say “She is always my rock.” Siblings are the ones who we grew up with, fought with, and told our secrets to; who we looked up to or wanted to be a role model for. This experience changes and shapes who we are as people even if growing up creates a distance.
A research study by Alexander C. Johnson Sibling Relationships in Adolescence and Young Adulthood in Multiple Contexts: A Critical Review examines the quality of relationships between siblings in childhood and adult life. The study focuses on topics such as how sibling relationships change over time, how gender affects sibling relationships, and how sibling relationships affect behavior and attitudes.
I remember when I was younger and I would barge into my sisters room everyday after school to tell her every detail of my life while she pretended to listen. My younger brother would then repeat this process to me, but it was more like “Sissy, let’s play Minecraft.” or “Sissy, watch me play Angry Birds.” If we flash to today, the dynamic is much different. I am in college and my sister moved out, but we still text roughly twice a week and try and keep in touch. With my brother, I now have to beg for his attention and get my text back when he’s not with his girlfriend or playing Subnautica.
The research shows that as we grow older, our bonds with our siblings are affected by stability and change. In adolescence, the close bonds usually stay strong and consistent, but as we grow older, life happens. Siblings move out, make new friends, start getting into relationships and branching out on their own. The power dynamic between younger and older siblings also starts to lessen for and siblings start to fight less. Despite the lessening of animosities, my little brother will never get shotgun; even if he’s taller than me now.
The relationships between our siblings have a strong correlation on who we are today. The research shows that a close bond between siblings in adolescence has positive impacts such as greater self esteem, resilience, positive school attitudes, and empathy. When the relationship between siblings is weaker it tends to have more negative impacts. These include narcissism, anxiety, depression, lower self-esteem, and antisocial behavior. This stronger bond also has a “monkey-see-monkey-do” affect.
For example, I used to be on the swim team from fourth grade until I graduated and I got pretty good at it around 8th grade. My little brother was sick of playing football and decided to join the swim team so we could swim together. Monkey see, monkey do. My sister used to curse in songs when she would drive me around, so I would also curse in those songs and then I would curse in songs when I was listening to them by myself. Monkey see, monkey do. Though this doesn’t necessarily mean that I molded my brother into a swimmer or that my sister molded me into cursing, it’s just something that we did in correspondence to what we saw.
Sibling relationships can also vary depending on gender. Siblings of the same gender are usually closer than siblings of the opposite sex. Overall, young women are found to report a closer relationship with their siblings though, they also report more fighting between sisters. Which I can agree with as my sister and I used to battle over the dumbest things, such as which one of us bought a mug that said “My dog is my best friend.” We actually still fight over that because I know I bought that from Target. At the same time, I would tell her way more about my personal life than I would ever tell my little brother and vice versa.
Overall, our siblings and our relationships with them growing up will influence who we are today. They had a positive affect on me when it comes to my social skills, empathy, and level of patience. These bonds created in adolescence stay with us for our entire lives and nothing could make me happier, unless maybe my sister admitting I was the one who bought that mug.