Whenever I feel like my problems are weighing me down, all my anxiety melts away as soon as I sit down to write. It feels like the whole world goes still because I am just focused on what’s in front of me. The best feeling I get when I write is when I discover new ideas as a result of freewriting. I love writing whatever comes to mind and rereading it to see how my thought process works. I never have to second-guess myself or worry about how bad it is because I know I’m probably the only person who is ever going to read it. Freewriting is like taking all the thoughts that are bouncing around in my head and releasing them like a bag of marbles while not really caring where they land. The more I free write, the more ideas I come up with, and the more confident I become in my writing. Freewriting really helps to get me out of my ‘writer’s block’ rut and erase my feelings of self-doubt. It forces me to write despite not wanting to and thinking I have nothing to offer.
Journaling has gotten me through some tough times, and I’ve learned how to cope with my problems a lot better as a result. Whenever I feel a strong emotion, whether it be positive or negative, I always feel the need to write how I’m feeling so that I can understand what it means. It’s therapeutic for me because I can write for as long as I need to and once I’m finished, I feel like a literal weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Doing this has helped me to get to know myself better and practice positive thinking when I feel negativity creeping in. After reading past entries, I’m able to see how I’ve grown as a person and I can recognize patterns of behavior that have changed or need to change.
I’d like to write . . .young adult fiction. I’ve written some in the past but I never got very far because I would always second guess myself and rewrite what I wrote a million times until finally I was so sick of rereading my writing that I just gave up entirely. I don’t write regularly anymore and I realize now that this has probably done me more harm than good. I think the main reason why I give up is because I’ve never put my writing into the world so, I’ve never had someone other than myself critique my work and tell me how I could improve. I realize that this is probably detrimental to my growth because collaborating and stepping outside my comfort zone is the only way I’m going to ever make any progress. I have to be told I suck in order to get better and the sooner I can accept that, the sooner my writing can improve. This is why I’m excited to be taking Writing Studies at Millersville because I truly feel like my professors just want us to improve and express ourselves without limitations which is something I’ve never experienced in writing classes before. Writing this essay is my first step to becoming a better writer. I’ve never called myself that before but it kind of feels right.